pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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