Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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