you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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