This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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