Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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