Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
