But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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