I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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