come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
