sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
