I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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