Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You did what with his pubic hair?
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