My underwear smells like fireworks.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
