Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
