Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I need moral support for this bender
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
