Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
