i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
