are you so shy because you have an std?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
