im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
