Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
