Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
