O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
