hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
