Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
