you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
