he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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