I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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