I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
