I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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