Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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