hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
