I should be sponsored by Trojan
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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