i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
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