i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
