My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
