I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
