Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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