I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
