the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
