Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
