Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
