"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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