Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
