Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
its not stalking. its research.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
