whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
