TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
