I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She's the barista slut.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That accounts for only three of the penises
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
