they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
