dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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