the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
