Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
