is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
