I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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