I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
